THE MEMORY WITH A LOOP

This new restaurant was the talk of the town. Hyderabad being a happening city, demand and taste of people gives rise to several such posh restaurants. But this one was gaining popularity like jungle fire.

Last Sunday, we friends (four couples) decided to visit there. We had a lovely meal. The ambience was superb, with tribal art on the wall, lush display of antique brasswares,  fallen Parijat flowers (night Jasmine) on the walkway and the soothing music inside added cherry on the cake. The waiters were very polished and their service was praised by all.

But our spotlight was on Ravi, the waiter, who was serving us. He had an amazing memory. He remembered every detail of our orders, without writing. He took care of all individual preferences and extended his personal touch to all eight of us. He won our hearts.

After the meal, while we were going back, suddenly my husband realised that he had left his mobile behind in the restaurant. We drove back and to our pleasure, it was kept in the reception, handed over by Ravi. My husband and his friend, thought of personally thanking him for his favour.

But imagine their horror, when they found Ravi, he didn’t even recognise them. Rather he asked politely, “Table for how many people, Sir?” After repeated reminders, he sheepishly accepted that it had gone out of his memory, for a while.

They came back bit shocked. The whole way, we talked about this incident and came to a conclusion that this was due to ‘short term memory’.

Back home, I explored and found that it is also known as, “The Zeigarnik Effect” (A term that describes, how our short-term memory deletes completed tasks from brain).

This research shows how our brain tends to work. When a task is completed, our brain hits the delete button and our memory gets wiped clean. Our short term memory struggles with space to retain information, so it keeps only the unfinished tasks alive and the minute a task is completed, it hits the delete button. And that’s why waiters at restaurant would remember every little detail of our order, but only until the bill is made.

This fact answered many of my questions:
Why we sometimes forget, what we had for lunch yesterday,
Or
In which level parking, we parked our car in the mall,
Or
What was the favourite lines we read yesterday
Or
Sometimes, why we leave the keys behind on the door, after unlocking the door and getting inside…

Well, there is another side also…very thoughtfully, it has been utilised by many of us. Often in a TV serial or Netflix, we see that, usually there is no closure at the end, they keep some surprise for the next episode, so that it will bring us back all the time, to know more. Chances are we will quickly forget about it if there is a closure. The message we get is, if there is something you want to make sure remains alive, keep it just a bit unfinished…

And maybe that’s the reason, many of us can’t forget their loved one, whom they had missed in the path of life…
Or
That’s why, it is commonly said that a man in love is incomplete until he is married to his love…

Dedicating few lines on this thought….

Some incomplete love, always stay deep in the heart,
A twinge trembles, when odour of the pain turns sharp,
Without meeting, how the anguish will change into dart,
It is still hidden, little inside me, little inside you, like a wart.

कुछ अधूरे रिश्ते, याद रह जाते हैं,
टीस सी उठती है जब दर्द, इत्र से महकते हैं,
बिन मिले कैसे सुलझाए, रंज-ए- उल्फ़त, जो धड़का,
  वो तो है, कुछ तुझ में छुपा, कुछ मुझ में छुपा।।

रंज-ए-उल्फ़त—— प्रणय पीड़ा, anguish in love

A lovely meal ended with a deep and warm awareness.